This is an assortment of funny things that have come across my screen. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have :)
Australian Shepherd Rules
1. I must be touching you at all times.
2. If I am unable to touch you, I must be able to at least see you until such time I deem it necessary to enforce rule #1, in which case I must have immediate access.
3. If someone else is touching you they must stop immediately so I can touch you.
4. Understand there is no “me time,” only “our time.”
5. If you need to use the washroom, I must go with you. This is for your own protection.
6. I have to taste everything you eat; again, this is for your own protection.
7. When we are sleeping on the bed, please understand that I need more space than you do. This too is for your own protection, and no, I do not need to explain why.
8. If two people are sleeping on the bed, I need to be in between the both of you. It makes no difference if this other person is your spouse. You have no idea what their true intentions are. It is much safer this way.
9. No cats should ever be allowed on the bed with us. Ever.
10. Other dogs may be tolerated on the bed provided rule #1 is in effect. This rule in in case by case basis and is subject to change at any time, without notice.
11. You must never leave the house without me. This would violate rules 1-4.
12. Fines for violating these rules should be paid for with begging for my forgiveness along with a generous allotment of peanut butter, beef, chicken, or any other treats of my choice.